I wish I knew
by booklover1357
Summary: Jackie is hurt when no one shows up for her graduation party, which sets in motion a series of terrible events. JackieXSteven
1. Chapter 1

**Jackie's Pov**

I slowly made my way down the basement steps and stopped when I heard voices. They were toasting to Eric for deciding to become a teacher. One tear fell down my cheek, I was happy tonight but I needed them to be at my graduation dinner tonight.

My father got out of prison last week, and I was so excited that he was finally coming home. But it turned out he came to get my mother, and inform me that I had to move out within the month because he was selling the house. He always said I still had access to my trust fund, as if that was supposed to make me feel better.

So this dinner party was my last goodbye to my childhood home, but no one showed up. I sat alone at my huge dining room table which I had expected to be full of friends and loved ones. But after twenty minutes of no one showing up, my maid/friend Maria came out and gave me a hug, as I cried on her shoulder. She also would soon be leaving my life, to go back to Mexico where her kids were.

I almost wished I could pay her to stay with me, but I knew I could not afford it with just my trust fund. I quietly crept back up the stairs without them hearing. Mr. Forman gave me a curious look over his paper but didn't say anything. I went straight home.

**Three days later. **

I went apartment hunting and asked Maria to go with me before she left in a couple days. The first apartment we got to was a one bedroom with a tiny kitchen, I thought it seemed fine in till Maria looked in the kitchen and was able to tell me that the appliances in the kitchen were faulty and that they were way overcharging for such a small apartment. At that I almost broke down into tears because I didn't know how to do anything for myself or even figure out if an apartment is good or not.

She gave me a hug and went onto the next one. I looked over uncertainly at Maria, not sure how the apartment was. She looked around,

"No washer or dryer, and by the looks of things no room for either."

I looked over at her confused. A washer and drier?

She smiled at me sadly, "you're going to have to wash your own clothes now sweetheart."

I have never done anything like that before we always had maids to do everything for us, and I never thought about it before. Now I would have to do everything for myself.

I straightened my spine and looked over to Maria, "will you teach me how?"

She smiled and me and nodded.

The next apartment we went to was the one. It was gorgeous and not overpriced. It had both a washer and a drier, and was perfect for me. The living room had many large windows that let in bright light, the kitchen was large enough to fit a table with 4 chairs comfortably, and it had one bathroom connected to the bedroom. The only problem was that I would be all alone I have always hated being alone, but it's not like I could to tell Steven he would just shrug and say something stupid.

I love him but I don't think he loves me, he only said it once and that was to try to get him to forgive him. I need to know I have a future with him, because my life is moving on whether I like it or not, and I need to know if he is going to be there for me.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hope you all like it(:_

I walked down the steps slowly trying to build up my nerve. I love Steven but I need to know if he feels the same, but it seems I can't ever stay mad at him for long. I yell for a minute he says something and I forget all about it. This is important I have to do this. I opened the door and everyone was sitting around watching the million dollar man.

I took a deep breath and went to get a drink, I needed a few more seconds, and yes I was putting it off. But right as I was walking past Steven grasped my waist and sat me on his lap. I smiled as he gave me a squeeze. Maybe I didn't have to do it now? It was that one time…

After about a half hour of watching TV I remembered that my parents wanted to have dinner with me tonight before they went off to somewhere in the south, they refused to tell me where exactly. I could not go by myself, my father has changed since prison, he became mean so I did not want to be alone with him and my mother. I needed Steven.

"Hey Steven can you go to a dinner at my house tonight?" I looked up at him and wanted to take off his aviators so I could see his eyes, what he was really thinking but I knew that would make him mad.

"No"

"Please Steven I need you there."

He looked down at me "I said no Jackie."

I was about to get really bitchy. "Steven you will go to the dinner tonight." I didn't mean to sound like a brat but that was to cover the need to cry.

"God Jackie you're so annoying your always telling me what to do, just go away."

**Steven's Pov **

I internally cringed I didn't mean for it to come out so harsh. But sometimes she can act like a spoiled brat. Much to my surprise I watched as her eyes welled up with tears. I felt my own eyes widen behind my aviators, Jackie never cries she stomps, whines, and then kicks my shin. I was about to say something when of course Kelso has to but in.

"Yeah Jackie you were always trying to tell me what to do, what to wear, where to go, Why do you think me and Hyde cheated on you?" Then he burst out laughing.

I heard Jackie let out a small sob and then watched as she ran out of the room. Kelso was laughing while Donna and Eric were staring opened mouthed looking like fish.

What the hell did I do?

** Jackie's Pov**

I hate when Steven is like, he doesn't seem to understand that I need him sometimes to be there for me. What Kelso said was just another blow to my low self-esteem, but I couldn't really blame him he was stupid and didn't really mean to hurt me.

I washed off my face and mechanically put on my makeup I would have to keep up appearances in front of my parents

I walked into the house, so silent and cold. No maid to great me, no warm smiles and hugs as I walk through the door like at, the Foreman's, just silence. It was always like this here, that's why I have always considered the Foreman's house home, but slowly I'm losing the warm feeling I would have leaving there and I'm leaving there just as cold as I am when I leave this house.

I walked into the dining room to my parents already eating; my mother with a large margarita and my father had a glare painted on his face.

"You're late." His voice was so cold, not at all like I remember.

"I know I'm sorry." He gave me a glare. "You better be."

My mother who already sounded drunk started asking me questions.

"Jackie do you have a boyfriend, yet? I know you're not the most attractive thing in town, but not having a boyfriend just looks bad for our reputation."

I just looked at my plate, biting the inside of my cheek. This is why I needed Steven here; they would not be like this with him there. Mother kept rambling on asking questions that I decided to ignore. I kept my head down as my mother rambled on, then I felt a sharp blow to my face that sent me flying out of my chair.

I look up to see my father, glaring down at me.

"You little bitch you haven't listened to a single word that either I or you mother has said tonight have you? We have given you everything, get out of my sight!"

As quick as I could I ran from the room, tears running down my face and my cheek throbbing. Luckily my stuff was already in my new apartment so I wouldn't need to come back here, I look back at the mansion one last time, and leave I hate that place.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for not updating and no I don't have a good excuse (a lot of authors on fanfiction seem to always have good ones, finals, pregnant, moving, and sick all at once!) Anyway moving on!**

Jackie

I didn't know where to go, I **wanted **to go to Steven's and have him hold my while I cried my eyes out, but I knew he would push me away and I couldn't handle that tonight. I finally sucked it up and turned my car towards the Foreman's house. I walked into their kitchen that has always felt more of a home than any other place that I have stayed. Its simple furnishings, and tacky wallpaper looked shabby compared to my house but it was always filled with laughter and warmth that could not be replicated in designer furnishings.

Mrs. Foreman was at the counter making one of her drinks, I was so accustomed to seeing her drink. She looked up at me,

"Stevens out tonight hunny, not sure when he'll be back."

I felt my hands begin to shake, the familiar stinging in my eyes, and the tightening of my throat. I was going to collapse, I needed someone to be there for me, to let me cry on them, and I don't have anyone.

I hadn't noticed that Mrs. Foreman had moved around the counter and was standing next to me, with a concerned look in her eye.

"Sweetheart sit down and tell me what's wrong."

So I did, every sordid detail, starting from the party, and ending with my father's slap. She was compassionate and listened to everything I had to say, she was my shoulder to cry on.

"You poor thing, here's what we're going to do, you're going to go to sleep in Lorie's room tonight and in the morning Red will take you to your house to help gather your things and bring them to your new apartment. "

I was so emotionally drained that I just nodded my head and did what she said.

**The next morning**

The car ride to my house was for the most part silent, but I could feel Red's eyes on my face. I turned at looked at him questioningly.

"He got you pretty good didn't he?"

I looked out the window trying to think of something else.

"Yeah…yeah he did"


End file.
